Imagine my shock when I realized that I haven't even looked at this blog (let alone written in it) for almost a year.
Gasp!!
Yeah, I know. All of you readers out in the blogosphere probably thought I had jumped ship on my "Live Like You Mean It" (LLYMI) project... but I haven't. I was preoccupied with the adventures of everyday living and stockpiling things of interest to share with you.
Since the age of 23, it has been my dream to start my very own book publishing company. Back in 2003 when this idea first hatched in the corners of my mind, I figured I had 7 years to fill in the details of plan execution. Afterall, I told myself, by my 30th birthday some magic switch of enlightenment was bound to turn on for me and I'd finally have a deep psychological understanding of myself, thereby dismanteling any fears or obstacles holding me back, thus transforming into an unstoppable woman able to master the world around her.
In other words, I thought I would finally act, feel AND think like a real grown-up.
During my 20s, I couldn't escape the eerie feeling that I was a kid playing "House." Although I spent the first decade of my adulthood doing responsible things like renting my first apartment, buying my first home, getting married, graduating from college, and buying a car or two, I still felt childlike in so many ways. Sitting in my home, I'd have moments where I found myself gazing around at my own living room, feeling like a little kid who had wandered into someone else's house. Even though I was the one who had made grown-up decisions like choosing furniture, having windows replaced and refinishing hardwood floors, I'd find myself having an out-of-body experience while pondering whether someone else had taken care of all of these important matters. Some day, I'd reassure myself, I'm going to be able to manage the life that I want, the life I've always dreamed of.
Well, the time has finally come.
I can't say that a magic switch miraculously flipped on for me on my 30th birthday, but turning 30 felt like a rebirth and an awakening for me. I was sad not to be able to say I was a 20-something anymore. Sad to realize that all of the people whom I had always thought of as "old" because they were "like, 30..." were now my peers. I was dumbfounded at the thought that the description "old enough to be someone's parent" now fit me. But along with these startling ephiphanies came new self awareness. The restlessness that had plagued me from age 28 to 30 heated to a rapid boil. I started feeling that, despite this terrible recession the economy is in and any other setbacks that could possibly crop up, there must be a way to become the person I've always felt I was meant to be. Because, of one thing I can be sure: if there wasn't some way to fulfill these dreams blossoming and bearing fruit in my mind, I wouldn't be thinking them up. The Creator doesn't give us the urge to do something unless there is a way to bring it to fruition.
So, I began thinking about how I've always wanted to start this publishing company by the time I turned 30. My mother always said that thirty is THE AGE OF UNDERSTANDING. Whenever she'd say this, I'd imagine a man's deep baritone voice dramatically bellowing the words, each syllable echoing as if bouncing off mountain peaks. I thought THE AGE OF UNDERSTANDING sounded like a title for a public television program much like "The Dawn of Civilization." Of course, back when my mother used to talk about THE AGE OF UNDERSTANDING, she was just turning 30 herself, and I was a child of 10. At that time, 30 sounded soooo OLD to me. But now that I've turned 30, I feel as if my 20s were kindergarden and my 30s are the start of a high-level grade school for adults. In this version of grade school, my challenge is to reduce complex concepts like entrepreneurship, profit margin, economic survival, self-sufficiency, creative freedom and living a life of fulfillment down to simple, do-able objectives.
I spent my 20s thinking that if I could just get my foot in the right door to get started working on my dreams, I'd be able to fulfill the goals I'm after. Finally, the harsh reality made itself known to me. Sometimes, some people won't want to help you get your foot in the door, let alone let you get anywhere near the door they've used. It is at that point that you have to make your OWN door!
It's a daunting but liberating thought.
Daunting because you ask yourself why you aren't able to use an easier way. You wonder why you haven't been invited into an already established port of entry. Why the people you've asked for help don't seem to be interested in seeing you succeed. Liberating, because you have the freedom to blaze a trail where none existed. Maybe you are destined to travel a brand-new path because what you are about to do is so unique that no one else has attempted it in quite the way that you are about to. Maybe you have to walk this unique path because you will lead others to brainstorm creative ideas and find the courage to blaze their own trails.
This brings me to my point. The trail I am blazing is called Great Story Press. We are a micro publisher of fiction and nonfiction in print as well as electronic formats. Our mission is to bring great stories to the world. Stories that spark the mind and entertain, inspire, uplift, and awaken the knowledge that all things are possible.
World, I give you...Great Story Press!
This is the journey, from inception to manifestation, of a new idea. My mind has conceived of this idea; my prayers, creative energy, faith, willpower and persistence cocoon this idea in the womb of my potential; and I will ask the Creator to give me the strength to labor through and birth it. Pray with me and come with me as I record in written detail every step of the process in launching Great Story Press.
Love,
Stay Inspired
