Ugggh!

The urge to feel down on myself is so tempting sometimes.
Once again, I'm working as an administrative assistant in a field I have absolutely no interest in. I am so sick of stapling, copying, collating, booking conference rooms and performing every conceivable type of monkey work that I am beside myself. Sometimes I feel like I can't stand it another second.
What the hell am I doing? I keep asking myself.
Don't get me wrong. I've got a B.A. in Journalism with a minor in business. Did the right thing. Went to college and earned a pricey degree. Now what?
Now that I've been tossed from the secure cocoon of my university and flung out into the Darwinian cut throatness of the real world...NOW WHAT????
Where the hell are all the jobs? Where the hell are all the great salaries we were all promised so long as we were good little students and went to college?
Yes, there are times when I've felt hoodwinked, bamboozled and like a damn fool for jumping through so many hoops to finally get my coveted degree. But words are a creative force, and a life of regret is not what I want to build for myself.
I'd rather live a life of hope, fulfillment and meaning.
I'd rather reach out and light up someone else's life so that the lightbulb can switch on for my own.
Sometimes I feel so tired of feeling like I'm stumbling around in the dark. So tired of feeling like if I'd have known then what I know now, I'd have done it differently. Sometimes I feel like I'm constantly trying to catch up. Feeling like where I am now is where I ought to have been three years ago. Feeling like I'm never where I should be, when I should be there.